there’s not even anything bad on my camera roll I just don’t want you to see how many selfies I take
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish
Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.